


constellations

by narada-talis (sarensen)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Drabbles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, M/M, Post-Season/Series 07, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Some angst, s1e01, s3e06
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-08-27 23:45:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16712317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarensen/pseuds/narada-talis
Summary: A collection of drabbles and other shortfic from tumblr.Shiro manages a smile - a genuine one - and says he’s feeling more like his old self, says maybe he’ll come out to meet the team on the bridge after dinner. When he hugs Keith, his arms go all the way around him and the space against his chest feels like it was made to fit Keith specifically. And when Keith buries his face in his neck he still smells like everything that ever went right in Keith’s life.Over his shoulder, Keith stares at the wall,wrongnesssitting like stones in the pit of his stomach.





	1. always

He leans in Keith's doorway and just watches for a while. Keith knows he's there. The Atlas hums around them and in the back of Shiro's mind, content and relieved at having Keith back. They both are.

He thinks he could make a job out of watching Keith, like he could never see him enough, like there's always something new about him to delight Shiro.

But that's not why he came.

Before the Blades mission, before Shiro's whole world turned upside down, before Keith just _left_ him there to deal with fallout like his own personal nuclear winter, he'd said, "I love you."

He'd said it before, of course. But never like that, like he couldn't contain it, like he was sure he would absolutely die on that mission if he didn't tell Shiro.

And then he'd left.

"How long?" Shiro asks.

Keith's hand stills for a moment where he's busy running a cloth over his knife, his Blades suit unzipped and draping over one shoulder. A moment's pause, then he starts up again.

There are fresh bruises on his arm, a feast of color for Shiro to indulge in.

It's quiet long enough that Shiro doesn't think he's going to answer. Maybe he didn't understand the question. The slight jump of muscle in his jaw tells Shiro he did.

Shiro unfolds his arms and takes a careful step closer, pushing away from the door. "Keith. How long?"

Keith stops again, sets the blade and cloth aside and stands in one fluid movement. He comes over. He says it soft, as if it's the simplest thing in the world.

" _Always_ , Shiro. Since the moment I first met you."

Shiro's face crumples a bit with an emotion too big for him to fully understand; of black holes and magic and lost time and a reality where he could have had this all along. He touches the scar on Keith's cheek lightly, and Keith closes his eyes, expression almost pained.

Shiro is about to pull away when Keith grabs his wrist, pushing it aside. He surges up against him, and the next moment Shiro has two arms full of Keith and they're kissing like it's the last thing they'll ever do, and Shiro thinks, _Maybe it's been always for me too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [taikodragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hana_ginkawa/pseuds/taikodragon) gifted me with a gorgeous, gorgeous podfic of this drabble, available here:   
> [[Podfic] constellations | always](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16759417/chapters/39320695)
> 
>  
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://narada-talis.tumblr.com), or come and yell with me about #vprp on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/solooutomg)!


	2. home

He wakes up in an unknown place, again, a black silhouette hovering over him and a familiar heavy fear in the pit of his stomach.

Instinct gets him up, adrenaline flashing bright purple, and before he even fully has time to take in his surroundings or allow himself to remember where he is -  _when_  he is - the Champion has the silhouette pinned against the wall with purple fire branding against its neck, its weight warm and solid beneath him

but

the lines of that face are familiar

and

the body beneath him is still, warm hands holding onto his arms lightly but not in fear

and

it’s Keith. 

God, it’s  _Keith_.

It’s Keith and it’s the desert shack and it’s the hoverbike ticking over outside and it’s Earth’s cold starlight through the window, and Shiro stumbles back, his fear turning on itself, on himself, breath racing and chest heaving.

Keith surges forward, follows him and pulls him into his arms and he doesn’t let go, he isn’t even scared and when Shiro can think again, when he’s regained enough facility to move against his own paralyzing fear, he crushes Keith to his chest.

More than seeing the Earth again for the first time through the viewport of his shuttle, after so long alone, after so long afraid, seeing Keith again… it feels like home.

Neither of them says anything but Shiro thinks if Keith were able he would say things like “ _I found you_ ” and “ _I’ve been looking for so long._ ”

Shiro sinks to his knees, pulling them both down.

Keith’s iron grip around him never loosens and for the first time since he can remember Shiro allows himself to just feel, to just  _be_ , totally safe for this one precious moment. Keith’s arms are the only thing keeping all the universe from crashing in around him.

He hears the sound of open and graceless and desperate sobbing and it isn’t until he feels Keith’s hands bunch in his shirt and feels Keith’s lips press onto his temple and into his hair that he realizes  _Keith_  isn’t the one shaking to pieces. It feels like a natural progression; he’s been raw for so long, every nerve exposed and bleeding, and every hurt and every terrified second catches up to him all at once, and here, home -  _home_  - here is safe and here is Keith and it’s finally all just too much for him.

“I got you,” is all Keith says. “I got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am definitely not worthy of the incredible podfic [taikodragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hana_ginkawa/pseuds/taikodragon) made for this chapter. If you want some serious goosebumps, do yourself a favor and listen to it here:   
> [[Podfic] constellations | home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16759417/chapters/39536344)


	3. it be like that sometimes

Keith’s hand barely shakes. The scissors tremble when they get close, but he steadies his arm, steadies his breathing. Shiro’s long hair is soft in his hand, gliding between his fingers in a cascade of black.

Keith’s breath hitches slightly at the first cut.

Strands of black tumble to the floor. It’s quiet enough to hear the hum of the Castle around them, to hear the snap of each hair as it breaks, and cold despite the heating in Shiro’s room. The lights are set to thirty percent. Shiro’s bedsheets are rumpled against the wall.

Keith works on autopilot, trying to ignore the way Shiro can never quite seem to meet his own eyes in the mirror. He slumps slightly in his seat and looks so tired, so defeated. Keith tries not to ache for him. Shiro doesn’t need that from him.

He needs something else.

✂

_“As many times as it takes.”_

_Keith tries not to notice the way Shiro’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He puts on a brave face - for Shiro, for the others - but deep down inside, he knows something isn’t right._

_The door hisses halfway shut, then opens for him again. “Shiro…”_

_Shiro keeps staring down at his hands. “I’m fine, Keith.”_

_Keith hesitates, biting his lip against begging, pleading Shiro to just talk to him, to tell him what’s really going on; for Shiro to just be alright. His throat aches with it. His eyes burn with it._

_The silence of the Castle swallows his worry. Shiro needs time. He needs space._

_“Keith…” Shiro’s voice stops him when he goes to leave again. “Can I ask you a favor?”_

✂

He isn’t halfway done yet. Black like silk curls around his shoes. White ghosts over Shiro’s arms and into his lap. It brushes his cheeks and dusts his eyelashes. Keith’s fingers trail through the soft hairs behind Shiro’s ears and into the warmth of his neck, and go still. Inside him a wave has crested, and the silence of the Castle is no longer enough to hold it back.

Shiro half glances over his shoulder. “Keith. Why did you stop?”

Keith’s ribs ache. His stomach churns with how much he tries not to say, “ _I thought I’d lost you._ ”

Shiro is quiet. Keith doesn’t really expect him to reply. Maybe he’s too consumed by the anticlimax of it all - all of this, all of his hurting for so long only to end up in a quiet room with a pool of Shiro’s hair on the floor and the aching, resonating surety that something isn’t right, no matter how desperately he needs it to be.

He’s on his knees now, somehow, with his forehead pressed against Shiro’s warm back and his hands clenched full of Shiro’s soft hair.

“I thought I’d lost you,” tumbles out of his throat and over his lips, a little choked out and a lot raw, over and over again; he can’t help it anymore. “I thought I’d lost you…”

The words feel heavy and loud in contrast to Shiro’s silence.

“It was just me and the emptiness, just like before… before I met you. And I…”

This part he doesn’t say out loud: how he’d drifted for days through the ash and debris and ruins of their victory and felt nothing but resentment. How the only thing he could think about was how he wished he’d never met Shiro, because he wasn’t sure anymore how to exist without him.

He’d wanted this so badly he physically ached with it, right down to the tips of his fingers. And he’d tried to run - desperate, despairing - but he couldn’t. Not from this. Not from hating the fact that he was alive while Shiro was…  

… gone.

Shame burns through him even thinking it now. Shiro had been through so much worse.

But Shiro came back. Somehow, he came back and for a brief and happy moment, Keith forgot and the pain in his chest and in his hands disappeared.

“I’m sorry.” Keith isn’t sure which of them says it.

He swallows dryly, and gets to his feet, and finishes cutting Shiro’s hair.

Shiro manages a smile - a genuine one - and says he’s feeling more like his old self, says maybe he’ll come out to meet the team on the bridge after dinner. When he hugs Keith, his arms go all the way around him and the space against his chest feels like it was made to fit Keith specifically. And when Keith buries his face in his neck he still smells like everything that ever went right in Keith’s life.

Over his shoulder, Keith stares at the wall,  _wrongness_  sitting like stones in the pit of his stomach.

He leaves not long after that. The door shuts on the new space between them. He leans his forehead against it, and closes his eyes, and doesn’t say, “Shiro…  _did_  I lose you?”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://narada-talis.tumblr.com), or come and yell with me about #vprp on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/solooutomg)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] constellations](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16759417) by [taikodragon (hana_ginkawa)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hana_ginkawa/pseuds/taikodragon)




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